Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Leads Exercise #4 Re-do

a. Forty passengers were evacuated from a jet at the LaCrosse Municipal Airport in Wisconsin after a landing tower employee noticed smoke near the wheels today. The Northwestern Airlines jet, flight #428, had just arrived from Minneapolis.

b. A 7-year-old boy who had been missing for three years was found on Thursday night in Brick Township, New Jersey after a neighbor identified his face when it was shown after a movie and called the police. The boy's 27-year-old mother, Ellen Lynn Conner, faces charges of kidnapping and interference with a custody warrant.

2 comments:

  1. Good revision. 6+2=8/10

    ReplyDelete
  2. 4a) Better! Just make your second sentence a new paragraph.

    4b) Much better!
    ...in Brick Township, N.J., after...
    Start a new paragraph for second sentence.

    6+2=8/10

    ReplyDelete