Fact Set #1: Pipe Fitter
Immediate Identification:
Duane La Chance, 55, suffered third-degree burns yesterday and is in serious condition when he accidentally touched a power line with an angle iron, says Henry Rosen, project manager of the company.
Delayed Identification:
Springfield Municipal Plant employee suffered third degree burns in a project accident yesterday and is listed in serious condition today.
Fact Set #2: Car Accident
Immediate Identification:
James W. Cunning, 20, and Wayne Clay, 19, collided with eachother on U.S. 63 at 11:45 today when Clay crossed the center line and struck Cunning. Cunning is in satisfactory conidition.
Delayed Identification:
An accident occurred on U.S. 63, near Blue Ridge Road, at 11:45 today. There were luckly no fatalities when one car crossed over the center line and hit the other.
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1) The first one works ... just add where it happened. The second one doesn't have enough info, and it has a fact error -- the injured guy is a Gross Engineers employee, not an employee of the Springfield Municipal Power Plant.
ReplyDelete2a) What makes this accident news is that a guy was injured. Make that the focus of your lead. Be clear: 11:45 a.m or p.m.?
2b) Again, focus on the injured guy in your lead. Fender-benders aren't news.
5/10 - please redo