An overturned truck in El Cerrito caused a major fire, numerous injuries, and caused severe power outages around the area yesterday.
The driver of the asphalt truck, an unidentified San Jose man, that overturned and smashed into a house was pulled out of it just in time by Detective Sgt. John Maples along with the help of two others. When describing the incident, Maples stated, "We dragged him out in a heartbeat while the truck went up in flames. I just wanted to get him out of there." He is listed in serious, but stable condition at John Muir Hospital and both of his legs are broken.
Another vehicle, a Honda sedan, was crumpled after being hit by the truck and the driver was trapped inside. Rescue workers had to slice into the sedan and pull back the roof to free the driver. An electrician's truck was knocked over into the next street. A man and a boy ended up stuck in some shrubbery inside their sport utility vehicle next to the burning house.
Another witness was Ruben Sharma, who lives across the street from the home that was destroyed by the fire. He was about to go back to work when the incident occurred. He said, "First, I thought it was a major earthquake. This is unbelievable." Sharma's yard is covered with bricks, broken glass, car parts, and splintered wood and palm fronds.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
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Good lead, but get rid of second "caused."
ReplyDeleteP2: your first sentence makes it sound like the "unidentified San Jose man" overturned and smashed into a house (and?) was pulled out of it (the house or the truck?) just in time ....
Also, you don't need to say "When describing the incident" -- just quote Maples. Start a new paragraph for each quote.
The driver (not he) is listed....
You also don't need to say "Another witness" -- when you tell me he lived across the street, and give me his quote, I'll figure out that he was a witness.
17/20